Many women today face the problem of family alcoholism. "My husband drinks every day, what should I do? ", " My husband has been drinking for 10 days, how should I behave? "- these questions have been heard more and more recently. Of course, the spouse is an alcoholic - it's scary. And drunk alcoholism, in general, is capable of turning life into eternal torment if left untreated. But here you always have to remember that alcoholism is a disease and not a personal choice of any particular person. A sick person undoubtedly needs the support of his loved ones, especially if he cannot cope with the problem on his own. But as a rule, when the husband drinks, the wife suffers first. And at such moments the question often arises: what to do if the husband is intoxicated? There are few ways out of this situation: leave him and get a divorce, or try to fight for your life and help your loved one. Although we can say with confidence that this fight will not be easy. But the decision has to be made by the woman herself, the advice of a psychologist does not help. Only she herself can decide what she wants and what she can do to achieve her goal.
Difficult Decision
Divorce is the simplest and easiest solution. In this way, a woman seems to be shedding responsibility for a man's future fate. But in this case you should adhere to a certain behavior. The main thing here: if you decide to go, go. Regardless of the belief or the plea, it is important to know that an alcoholic's promises cannot be trusted. He will do everything to convince his wife: burst into tears, give gifts, fall on his knees. If this doesn't work, he may well resort to violence or blackmail. Therefore, you should not follow his example, because once you believe this you can provoke repeated repetition of such concerts. And they can last longer than a week and even more than a month. The advice of a psychologist in this case is clear: you need to make a firm decision, convey this to your husband clearly, do not trust promises and do not have mercy. We must always remember that no matter how bad it goes, the wife is doubly worse off.
When the choice is made of fighting and helping the next person, the woman must be patient. The most important thing in this case is to understand why the husband began to drink, and then go deeper into solving this problem. Nowadays there are many ways to wean a person off alcohol consumption.
First of all, you need to learn how to behave properly. If the spouse has started drinking more often and is regularly binge drinking, then you can try changing tactics. After all, he is sure that on his return he will get caught up in yet another scandal with tears and smashed dishes. Or is it perhaps received by dead silence and icy contempt? In any case, you need to try to change: to become more loving, to surround him with attention and care, to try to offer him other joys in life besides drinking alcohol. Often times, this behavior confuses men, and then they are much easier to deal with. At least you protect yourself and your children from unjustified aggression and spare your nerves.
Second, you must try to protect the believer from his drinking friends. In fact, most of the time, a man drinks vodka for company or solitude. When drinking intoxication, men have very low self-esteem. It seems to them that they are no longer needed by anyone and are not suitable for anything. Try to prove how wrong he is:
- to show that he is the head of the family, their hope and support, and that everything can collapse without his involvement;
- pay attention to children who have mental difficulties living with a drinking father;
- captivate him with new interests and hobbies.
Codependency
A woman may not be able to leave her alcoholic husband. There may be many reasons for this, but she still has to figure out how to get on with life.
There is such a thing as codependency when a woman, for better or worse, becomes socially or physically dependent on her husband to get him out of the hole and bring him back into the family. This usually happens when a woman has a strong emotional bond with her significant other. Only an experienced psychologist can help here.
There are clear signs by which to judge the existence of codependency:
- the wife takes responsibility for her husband's health, mood, and wellbeing;
- tries to please her husband by doing all the work for him;
- has a need to help her husband with problems, by and large, to solve problems for him;
- justifies the spouse's inappropriate behavior in front of others;
- feels guilty about what happened to her husband;
- turns a blind eye to the problem and believes that whatever is not done is for the better;
- falls into the same addiction to alcohol and does not have the strength to resist;
- regards himself as a victim paying for past sins;
- physically or emotionally attached to a spouse.
What should a woman do when a husband gets into binges?
There are many reasons men go on a long high. Here are the main ones:
- not wanting to resist addiction;
- family conflicts;
- Inability to deal with stress.
Everyone knows that alcohol creates a feeling of euphoria and thus develops one of the strongest addictions in a person that they may not want to overcome. Weak mentality and willpower can also be one of the reasons for heavy drinking. And if the stressful situation at home or at work persists, you can drink almost every day.
Alcoholism denial is a problem for all alcoholics. You constantly hear all sorts of excuses like: "Yes, I'm an alcoholic and I like that! " Or "I don't drink without a reason. " The drinker never admits that he is addicted, it seems to him that he will stop drinkingcan whenever he wants. But in fact everything ends with another intoxication, after which the self-confidence and security of fellow human beings begins again in their firmness of character.
What to do in such a situation is not difficult to understand - to treat clearly. But what a woman definitely shouldn't be doing is worth finding out. It's not worth it:
- look for excuses for his heavy drinking;
- hide the problem, disguise him with a pin and try to show that he is not what he is;
- Justify the husband in front of colleagues or superiors for not working or for being systematically late;
- drink with your spouse so that he gets less;
- give something to drink at home as long as he is not drinking in the street;
- washing and cleaning up the aftermath of his alcohol intoxication after him;
- Buy alcohol;
- Blackmail with sexual relationships;
- threatening divorce;
- treat her husband secretly from him.
There are several ways to get a person out of their state of binge:
- Drug solution;
- Home remedies;
- psychological help and rehabilitation program;
- Prayer or conspiracy against alcoholism.
Slight binge
With such an initial stage of alcohol addiction, you can try to get along with popular methods to get rid of the intoxication. It is also good that the treatment can be carried out at home. The very first thing to do is let the patient sleep and then go to bed rest. Drinking plenty of fluids is recommended in order to restore the water-salt balance in the body. In this case, various fruit drinks, herbal teas and decoctions are suitable. You can also take a contrast shower, herbal baths, massages, and other procedures to improve and restore the body. It is not worth resorting to medical help without consulting a specialist, otherwise unforeseen complications may arise.
Heavy consumption of alcohol
If the high lasts longer than three days, then most likely you will need the help of a narcologist. A specialist can be called at home. He will properly assess the patient's condition and prescribe medication to be taken, carefully following the doctor's instructions.
To relieve withdrawal symptoms, the doctor usually puts an infusion drop at home, which removes alcoholic toxins and ethanol breakdown products from the blood. It also often contains restorative ingredients and sedatives. The fact is that very often a person who drinks becomes aggressive, panics, or has inexplicable fears.
To calm him down after a binge eating and restore the nervous system, the doctor can recommend courses with a psychologist and prescribe psychotropic drugs.
Severe binge eating
Typically, a severe binge eating attack lasts a week or more. If the situation is practically out of control, or if the person drinking has a history of chronic illness, then only hospitalization of the patient to a narcological or toxicological clinic can help. Treatment in a hospital helps avoid the possible unpleasant consequences of a severe binge eating, which can manifest itself in the form of "delirium tremens" or alcoholic psychosis. In such a state, the patient is unable to control himself and can commit aggressive acts directed against any family member, since he is in a disturbed state. Of course, it is advisable not to take it that far, but if the withdrawal syndrome suddenly becomes very severe, treatment with herbs or prayer is essential. You have to go to a narcological hospital as soon as possible, otherwise you can cause serious damage to your health and even death.
Conclusions
When a husband is an alcoholic, it is a terrible grief for people close to him. They worry and suffer, even more than the sick person himself. Sometimes life becomes so unbearable that a decision has to be made: look after your family or your own health. Rarely can a woman put an end to a once happy family life, especially when there are children who still love dad. The only thing left for you to do is to pull your loved one out of this terrible trap. However, this by itself is very difficult and, in fact, not necessary. In this case one cannot do without psychological help and support. The advice of an experienced specialist will tell you how to properly conduct yourself and what to do to get your man out of the intoxication and allow him to live a normal life. It only remains to stock up with great patience and in no case despair, because desperation can lead to hasty actions, which you can then sincerely regret.